Overcoming adversity isn’t easy, but it can be a physical, emotional and spiritual redirection to a better path…eventually. At first the struggle seems to set you backwards, leaving you feeling worse. However, the beauty is found in the rebuild. It’s during this time of regrowth that you have the opportunity to create a new situation or a new version of yourself–one that feels happier, healthier and more joyful for your existence.
It’s been 5 months since my left rotator cuff surgery. Yesterday I did my first down dog yoga pose. I was able to hold it for only a few seconds, but I had no shoulder pain. My journey to get to this stage wasn’t easy, and I have more strengthening and conditioning in the future, but down dog is a huge milestone for me on my road to recovery.
Your current struggle might feel overwhelming, painful, scary, sad, frustrating or infuriating. You might feel stuck or uncertain which is totally understandable. Some of the lessons I learned during my healing journey might be helpful to you as you move through your current situation.
1. It’s uncomfortable. Challenges are messy and uncomfortable. That’s the beauty of change, growth and healing. It’s within the mess that real growth happens. It’s within the mess that you can release your old patterns in order to create something new and different. Sitting in the mess with your feelings might feel yucky, but ignoring them only delays your movement forward. (Being in my sling was itchy and uncomfortable. My muscles were in knots from the immobility. At one point my fingers were in excruciating pain. Massaging and releasing those muscle knots was a constant for months.)
2. It’s exhausting. Your struggle is going to feel physically and emotionally exhausting, so REST. Have compassion for yourself and your own ability. Make sure that you take time to nurture yourself with good sleep, nutrition and hydration. Sleep, take a nap, take a bubble bath, connect with your faith, or just sit and breathe. Go slowly. Be kind to yourself. You deserve your own love too. (Post-op week two—I literally slept most of the day all week long!)
3. Don’t push. Don’t rush. It’s normal to want to rush through the process and just “get there already,” but trying to speed up the healing, recovery or redirection process can actually make things worse—you could hurt yourself or prevent yourself from getting to a healthier happier different situation. Your process requires you to take tiny steps forward in order to be stronger for your next slightly larger baby step. Each day focus on what small action you CAN do to move yourself through your current situation—the tiniest step forward is still movement forward. You need this time to become the stronger version of yourself. (My arm was immobile for weeks. If I tried to rush my movement I would have damaged my repair and prevented my ultimate success. My focus each day was on my limited exercises and ice—-lather, rinse repeat. I am currently rebuilding my muscles differently to become stronger without creating injury.)
4. Hard things do get easy. You may not like the harder aspects of your challenge because they require you to do or be something NEW. Perhaps your struggle requires you to acknowledge a difficult painful situation or relationship, have a challenging conversation, or learn a new skill. At first these new tasks might seem overwhelming or almost impossible, but once you try them a few times they will get easier. Developing new mindsets and behaviors take time and practice—like building new muscles. (My really hard exercises were torture for me, but over time when my muscles got stronger they became easy. Of course then a new set of torturous exercises were given to me!)
5. Create a support system that you trust. Whether it’s family, friends, a trainer or coach, make sure you that you feel safe in these relationships and that they are supporting your journey forward. The last thing you need is someone who might be sabotaging your efforts forward. Advocate for your needs—-if you need help, ask. It’s ok NOT to be able to do everything. Great warriors form competent teams to help them. (I tried two physical therapists before I found the one that felt best for me. Friends and family drove me around, and my daughter did all the house chores and heavy lifting for weeks.)
6. Trust your process. Your struggle is helping you move forward on your personal journey. There are lessons to be learned and obstacles to be overcome. Within the challenge, there is opportunity for you to take new action. You will not be the same person you were when you started—-the point is to evolve into a newer, improved, more authentic version of yourself. There’s incredible beauty as you shed the old and rebuild who you are and how you show up in the world. (My shoulder was in pain for years. I trusted my surgery, my immobility and the physical therapy process. I now have almost full range of motion, can move my arm without pain, and can finally do a down dog yoga pose. I am on my way!)
Remember, small consistent daily action might seem meaningless or insignificant at the time, but over longer periods of time REAL exponential change can be appreciated. Whether it be your health, relationships, financial situation, career, recovering from injury, or adjusting to a new life phase…
Do you want to stay the same or take action? Let’s do this.
Always with love,
Heather
PS Scheduling a complimentary coaching call might be your first tiny baby step forward if you’re looking for direction. 😉