What’s your money story?
You know what I’m taking about. It’s that story that you tell yourself about money. I’m guessing almost daily.
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“I’m terrible with money.”
“Only rich people can afford that.”
“I will never be able afford X,Y and Z.”
“If I don’t work hard, I won’t be successful.”
“I need to work hard in order to retire.”
Most of us have a story that keeps us living in scarcity, as opposed to living in abundance. The story is learned subconsciously, and then we create scenarios that reinforce that story over and over again. We tell ourselves, “You see, I’m terrible with money.”
You may feel like you live paycheck to paycheck, and those last few days of the cycle become nail biting.
You may feel like you will never have enough to money to retire.
You may look around at others and wonder how they can go on yet another vacation.
Money has always be a source of anxiety for you.
For me, my money story has been “money is tight.” Trust me, I was really good at keeping myself stressed out and wondering how I was going to pay my bills on time. It didn’t matter how much money I made, I was constantly feeling depleted—-financially and emotionally.
Money is like sex. Nobody wants to honestly talk about it, right? You have no idea if you’re doing it right. You don’t know what’s “normal.” And you’re not sure if you’re good at. So, money becomes this hairy scary thing that is easier to avoid, let someone else manage, and worry about another time.
But, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Here’s the beauty of coaching, mindset work and getting into action. When you change the script in your head, the energy around the issue shifts from negative to positive. A few years ago, I called myself out on my money story. I began shifting my negative scarcity mindset about money into one that was more positive.
“I have more than enough money to take care of myself and my family.”
“Money comes easily to me.”
“There’s more money where that came from.”
I wrote those statements numerous times daily in my journal. I repeated them in my head until they became the phrases I told myself about money instead of that old message. When it came time to pay my bills, I said those three phrases. My anxiety lifted. I could breathe again. And most importantly, I took action and took control of my money.
The action about money is learning to spend money consciously, not unconsciously. It’s knowing how much net income you have and how much you actually spend. Let’s face it—-it’s knowing your budget. And I mean a real budget, not a “kind-of sort-of” budget.
How much money do you make each month after taxes?
—Be very clear with yourself about this number, and include all sources of income.
—How often do you get paid?
—Make sure you know what you owe in taxes (or need to put aside each month) if your taxes aren’t taken out automatically.
How are you spending money?
—Look at the last few months and how you spent money. Don’t just think about it. Look at your credit card and debit card spending.
—Identify those fixed expenses that never change—rent, mortgage, car payments, cable, phone, insurance, etc.
—Identify necessity items—food, clothing, gas, etc.
—Look for items that may not be necessary or that you notice are excessive. Are there recurring subscriptions that you don’t use? Did you actually spend $10/day at a coffee shop? That’s $300/month which could be $3600/year. How often did you eat out?
—Identify purchases that were emotional “feel good” purchases. Will you still want them in a month? A year? How much money could you have saved if you didn’t purchase that?
How would you like to be spending your money?
—This is about understanding your values and what is truly important to you so that you can live more authentically. Take time to think about how you want to spend your money. Are you someone who has always wanted to be philanthropic, but you never have the extra money?
—You may love your time at the coffee which is great. Don’t change it. But, if you don’t have money for a vacation, a college fund, or retirement, think about how that $300/month could be better spent. What if you could put that $300/month towards retirement or the 529 college plan?
—Stop looking at what everyone else is doing or spending—they may not have a clue either. This is your life and your financial happiness. Once you are in control of your money, it can no longer control you.
The most important investment you can make is to invest in yourself. You may choose to hire a coach like myself. Working with a coach (which is not financial advice) allows you break free from those old money stories, get into action, and start achieving your money goals. How would your life look if you were living in a place of abundance?
Always with love,
Heather