One time when my kids were little, one of them pushed the other. Of course, the one being pushed cried out “Mom, so-and-so pushed me,” and waited for my reprimand. However, the child receiving the push had been poking the other child in the side for a while, and had omitted that part of the story when I asked what had happened. I’m sure all of you parents can relate, even laugh, but this goes on all the time in our own daily adult lives.
It’s hard to take responsibility and admit to ourselves that we have a problem, a hurt, an unpleasant situation, or even that we’ve made a mistake. It’s challenging to admit that we may be part of the problem, right? It’s so much easier to blame someone else or society for our problems, so much easier to minimize or discount our role in the situation.
We may feel stuck in a job or relationship. We may have made financially poor decisions. We may not communicate with family or loved ones. We may be holding onto a grudge for decades. We may be turning to unhealthy choices. However, once we become aware of our role in the problem, we can work towards finding a solution. We need to touch those scary places of fear and shame, apologize to ourselves, forgive ourselves, and then move forward. Only then can we take new action.
When I look back on my relationships and finances, two areas in my life that have always felt messy and uncomfortable, I look to uncover my role in the problem. What I did. And what I didn’t do. It means acknowledging my part in the problem. Yes, Heather, you spent too much on the credit cards that year. Yes, Heather, you gave up your voice in a particular relationship. OK, Heather, what can you do differently next time to prevent being in a similar situation? It means being honest and truthful about my own behavior. It means admitting to myself that I’m not perfect. But then again, which of us is?
We can only control ourselves. We can only control our thoughts, our emotions, and our own actions. When we take responsibility for ourselves, we shift from feeling stuck, helpless, fearful, and angry to being productive and solution-seeking. Where have you not been honest with yourself? What can you do to shift your story and take ownership of your actions? How can you shift to transform your life?
If you’re curious about what your life could like if we were to partner together, please connect with me via email. It is never too late to take responsibility for the direction of our lives.
Wishing you health and safety during this time.
Always with love,
Heather